I've been almost numb with shock for most of the week after my team Rangers went into administration on Monday.The fact that it cost us a 10 point penalty in league and almost certainly hands the league title to to our rivals seems almost insignificant when my clubs very survival is now at stake.The situation seems to change almost hourly too,with the latest being the the administrators now in charge saying today "As a result of our preliminary assessment, we are wholly confident that Rangers will continue as a football club.We do not think that liquidation and closure of the Club is a likely outcome at all".

That seems reassuring but I'll wait until that's cast in stone and not just a "likely outcome" before I feel any better about the situation.I could write pages and pages about the way Rangers have been run,the current/previous owner etc but for now I'll leave it at that and just say that even if the worst ever happens,there will always be a Rangers, one way or another.Follow Follow!


I mentioned I'm taking a zip slide over the River Clyde next month and I did raise a smile when my sitemeter thing revealed that someone had found my blog searching "River Clyde zip slide-how do you get up the crane?".Damn good question and after some investigation the answer that there's a lift at the side of the crane!

At work we got an email from our building services people about the toilets being used on the first two floors which are empty and shouldn't be used as they've been "mothballed".I managed to convince the girl next to me that meant both floors were moth infested and had her worried the moths would make it up to our floor.She's a 27yr old part-time apprentice and I was made to feel very old when I called her Gorbachev after she came into work today with a couple of red burn marks on her forehead caused by her hair tongs."Gorbachev?Is that a cartoon?" she asked.

Not much poker content today.I'm back to about even for the month after finally cashing a few times on Sunday and making the final table of a $5 6 max Hyper turbo Mtt.( nice new final table theme too)If I can stop running pocket fives into KK when shorthanded maybe I'll hit a big score one day...

I've also been enjoying playing hyper turbos on my mobile using the new Android app on my HTC Desire.I think I need a "Get out my way I'm two tabling" sign on my head though after nearly bumping into a few people as I played and walked round Glasgow at lunchtime.It's very smooth and easy to use though and if you're UK based I'd recommend it.

Thanks for reading....

I'm pretty sure I heard myself agree to go on a zip slide across the River Clyde in Glasgow from the top of a 150 feet high crane on March 25th after the next Old Firm game.It's been a dreadful season so far on and off the park for Rangers and this charity thing may turn into a jump instead of a slide if we don't beat the mutants from across the city at Ibrox that day!It's for Sports Relief and hopefully some of you kind readers will sponsor me nearer the time!



Nacho has been reading Josies blog recently and only her kind words about him in her comments section kept him from hitting the "unfollow" button after he clocked the "Dogs are Vermin" post from the other day.

He did agree though that not all dogs are as smart as him and some are extremely daft indeed....



Poker content? Well I did play a bit last night but a combination of not smoking during the week and some particularly strong weed meant I was completely monged as I played and instead of it keeping me focussed and tuned in I was resting my head on the back of the couch and half opening my eyes every time the Pokerstars software beeped at me to let me know it was my turn.

I played just a few Mtt's without much joy and had an awful run at the $7 and $30 6 max hypers.I was watching "The Big Game" as I played and inspired by the high stakes cash I sat down at a $50nl 6 max cash table and a full ring $50 nl game too.I used to be a cash game player ( on Ladbrokes and Interpoker) until I caught the sng bug a few years ago.Sadly I forgot the rule about not going broke with an overpair and lost a buy-in with KK to a flopped set of sixes on the 6 max table.

I followed up that piece of brilliance by making a tilty call from the big blind with 56s on the full ring table and check calling an early position preflop raiser on the flop and turn before making a half assed attempt to represent a straight on the river and being called down by two pair.

Mtt mistakes,cash game tilt and a ton of run bad have been the story of my poker month so far in Feb and I suppose I should be glad I'm slightly up and not deep in the hole.Hopefully I can find my best game and some run good tonight as I'll probably play a load of turbo Mtt's.

I've still not played any live poker since last August but I have been practicing my poker face at work to help make myself unreadable when bluffing.We have glass lifts and it's very annoying when I'm running late in the morning, get in,hit the 5th floor button and as the door is closing some asswipe still fumbling with their pass at the turnstyle somehow manages to teleport themselves across to the front of the lift just in time to press the open door button.When it happens several times in a row just as the lift is about to get going it's enough to make me .....smile politely through gritted teeth at my new lift companions!

Well that still happens but if they're not quite quick enough I now incorporate my poker skills and bluff going to press the open door button,making actual contact just above the button.It's very simple and just requires me to make like I'm holding a ball in my hands,giving a small shrug as I raise both eyebrows while hollywooding a surprised look as the door shuts firmly in their face.See ya,wouldn't like to be ya!

Back soon...

After going to Ibrox to watch a poor Rangers side lose 2-0 to Dundee United in the Scottish Cup on Sunday I came home,watched some more football and fired up a bunch of turbo Mtt's.I ran like crap,made a couple of glaring mistakes and only managed one small cash for $25.

Two Pies was over and after the real football we tuned into the men in padded suits running into each other big final on the BBC.With no idea what was going on and breaks every couple of minutes we lasted until halftime before I sent him packing and hit the sack.Well ok I did watch a bit of Madonna doing the half-time show.When I was a teenager my bedroom walls and ceiling were covered in posters of her and she's still looking hot just a few ( hmmm ok,maybe 25yrs) years later.

Not much else going on this week.At work everything seemed as normal today when the bus driver said he was going out for his lunch.The big boss then called a meeting with our team to tell us he had left the company with immediate effect and it was smiles and laughter all round for the rest of the day.

Something else that made me laugh this week was this brilliant Daily Mail headline generator.No need for anyone to buy the paper ever again!

The Daily Mail song below is quite funny too.



Back soon...

I warmed up last night by playing some 6 max hyper turbo's whilst watching The Big Game and other poker I had recorded during the week.

Around 10pm I fired up the tournament lobby,applied the turbo/hyper turbo filter and registered for 8 games ranging from a $5 turbo to a $50 hyper mtt.

As I crashed out of one after another it crossed my mind that if I want to play Mtt's then I'd better get used to the variance.If I'm buying in for aprox $200 per session it probably wont be long before I go ten sessions without a cash and I'd guess that would be a fairly standard run.Maybe that kind of inevitable run when it happens will send me scurrying back to Sngs but for now I'm loving the blood pumping world of turbo/hyper Mtt donkaments.

Even as I was losing flips etc and crashing out I was having a great time trying to read my opponents ranges and making moves to exploit their weak spots.So much so that even when I was only playing 3-4 tables I switched the tv off and focussed on only the poker.I was also well aware of making mistakes myself and when it comes to Mtt's I'm still trying things out to see what works and what doesn't much of the time.

Specific hands from last night are a blur.I do remember getting my money in with AQ v KK for the world in one game and ( Tony G style) thinking "there's the Ace from f*ckin space" when I hit my Ace on the flop.It may not rhyme but I also recall thinking "And there's the King from Oh f*ck off why can't I just suckout one f*ckin time instead the f*ckin 2 outer resuck coming on the river".

After resigning myself to a $200 losing session I made a couple of small cashes, one of which was a frustrating 30th place from 2500 runners in a top heavy $15 game for a $58 payout.

After that exit I was left playing only a $9.90 $5k Gtd game with 837 runners where only making the final table paid.Adjusting strategy for that one was interesting as I don't think I've ever played an Mtt with such a top heavy payout structure.

Anyway I did make the final table and with four left I shoved A5 into other shortish stack and he snap called


with Aks and I didn't get any help from the board.What a croc! Nice to cash for $753 though and get off to a good start to the month but really I'm just happy to look at those winnings as fuel to play yet more Mtt's and hopefully become a better player at them.

Party $602 ( =) Pokerstars $4783 ( + $47)
817 6 max Hyper turbos and 58 Mtt's played in Jan.
Total online roll $5385

Away from the poker the bus driver returned to work a few weeks ago ( after 3 1/2 months off with stress) and was removed from managing us for the "foreseeable" future due to the many complaints made by our team about his management style.He announced when he joined us that he was on the bus going places and we were either on it or not hence the nickname.

The new senior management team moved him to a project when he came back but HR told them he was employed as a manager and had to be put back in charge of the team.After an awkward meeting on Monday morning where he tried to clear the air by half apologising and using lots of corporate bullshit phrases he lasted until Tues afternoon before taking the rest of the week off as his family are apparently not well.

I don't know if he'll be back but with him gone and the other bloke in the team leaving recently I'm the only man left in our team.The girls reckon the bus driver is a smelly bawbag and apparently I'm now the team eye candy.That's fine with me but I've warned them I want to be respected as person and not treated like a piece of meat.( tongues firmly in cheek all round)

I do have a decent seat near the window which looks right across to the gym in the building opposite.The running machines are right at the window and I've got the girls in my team trained to alert me when the jiggle factor is particularly high,allowing me to stretch my legs and check out the bouncing titties across the road.( in a respectful manner obviously)

Had a few more things to write about but writers block has kicked in after mentioning titties.Ahhh titties.Back soon....

My broadband was playing up on Friday night which left me playing poker using a pay as you go usb dongle.I only played $7 6 max hypers as the connection was slow,I've got a bit of a cold and I was pretty exhausted after a long week at work.

Yesterday after getting back from watching Rangers beat Hibs 4-0 I had a hot curry for dinner ,confirmed my broadband was working again and watched an episode of "Banged up Abroad" on my laptop.I hit the tables around 10pm and registered for most of the Turbo/Hyper turbo tourneys in the lobby with a buy in of $51 and under.

I played 11 in total and apart from one terrible donkey play with 55 ( which saw me knocked out of a $16 mtt) I felt I was playing quite well although I was still losing key flips and running into bigger hands at vital times. I was also really enjoying the games and the challenge of adjusting to Mtt's.Even with my Stars roll down $1100 for the month at one point I still made plans to move $600 on Party ( not played there for months) over to Stars and to keep grinding Mtt's until I only had $3k left at which point I'd start grinding sngs again.

That was assuming I didn't cash in any Mtt's and that was looking more and more likely after crashing out of most of the ones I was playing in.( including my third TCOOP event) I was still in the $10,$10k Gtd but with over 2600 entrants and the decent money only starting at the final table I wasn't getting too excited about finally winning some flips and having some hands hold up.

With around 20 left I was quite short stacked and fairly card dead and only a few wee steals kept me afloat.I ducked and dived and even raise/folded AK to a reraise and shove at one point.( would have been against another AK and JJ which won the hand)

I made the final table as the second shortest stack but despite that I was really pumped up for it and remember thinking it's just as well I don't play much live poker if I'm going to shake like a leaf and get that excited.Rolling another and taking a few deep breaths calmed me down as did realising I'd really need to focus and battle hard if I didn't want to get blinded out in 9th.

Apart from my 44 holding v J10 I hung around without catching any cards or winning any huge pots as one after another crashed out until we were five handed.Not long after that I shoved A10 from Utg and ran into the other short stacks AJ.5th place for $1177 and back in profit for the month!

Before I bought Jared Tendlers book "The Mental Game of Poker" for my kindle I genuinely thought I'd probably be wasting my money as I didn't think I had any problems with that side of my game.In fact I've always considered it one of my poker strengths.I've never blown through a bankroll on monkey tilt , I don't berate fish at the table and if I do feel my game slipping due to repeated bad beats I used to simply stop playing.

Having finished the book I'm happy to admit I had more mental game leaks than I first thought.The good news is that I also realised that just writing down poker thoughts in the form of this blog has probably helped my game far more than I ever thought possible too.

For years I've also had a problem with just getting down and playing whenever I plan a poker session.I'd surf the net,watch training vids and do everything bar actually firing up the tables.The book helped me realise that I was delaying my sessions due to the accumulated negative emotions I'd built up due to all the previous downswings and bad beats I'd experienced in the past.

These days I'll warm up with a heads up game or a few micro stakes sngs and then happily dive straight into playing 6-8 tables.I may still take a breather when running very badly, but I'm also jumping back on the horse far more quickly than I did previously and the increase in games played can only help increase my overall profit.

Reading the book also helped me take last weekends downswing pretty much in my stride and I actually surprised myself at how accepting I was of such a nasty run of cards and the bankroll hit that came with it.That's not to say I wasn't muttering stuff like "You've got to be joking" as the beats were coming thick and fast but after each beat I'd immediately inject some logic into my thinking and get myself back on track without the need to take a long break or stop playing altogether.

I've been lucky with the poker books I've read.I began with "Killer Poker" by John Vorhaus and his "bet big or go home" philosophy was ideal for the micro/low stakes cash games I started out playing.I liked his views on the mindgames side of poker too and that was one of the reasons I chose the anonymous give nothing away name of Zagga as my Stars username.The fact the name is also a dyslexic anagram of Gazza ( one of the best footballers I've seen play for Rangers) also played a part.I wish I'd been thinking along similar lines before coming up with the stupid Acornman name I use on this blog!

I remember taking a lot from the Matt Matros book "The Making of a Poker Player" and other books like Double A's "Pressure Poker" too.In short if I was to give one piece of advice to any of my poker playing readers it would be to buy Jared Tendlers book.( and this is not a paid ad even if it probably looks that way!)

I'm not sure what games I'll be playing this weekend.I reckon I'll go down the Mtt route again although I may give the extremely high variance $51 hyper mtt's a miss despite getting so close to a decent cash in one last week.As well as enjoying the change of pace in Mtt's I also got to play with some of the big names in the Mtt world.I'm not up on who all the latest "ill sickos" are but I did resteal from Pearljammer ( a gutsy move with AK!) and locked horns with Busto_Soon,Thay3r and Rooney_Dives who I recognised from Pocket Fives forum threads.

I also played with a dutch teampoker stars player called Fatima Moreira De Melo and after googling her name I found it quite amusing that a hot looking top Dutch hockey player and TV presenter could be sat on the virtual right of a stoned Scotsman playing poker in his boxer shorts.

Away from the poker I enjoyed watching the second leg of the Copa Del Rey cup game between Barcelona and Real Madrid last night.What a peach of a goal from Danny Alves.Pick that out son!( love the Spanish commentary on this clip too)



I've been reading about the upcoming Superbowl final on a few US blogs and I won't be staying up to watch it as I've never been able to get into American football.I did read the other day that a Scottish born bloke called Tynes plays for the New York Giants.So does that mean I'll be supporting the Giants v the Patriots? Nah,he's a Celtic fan apparently so in the time honoured sports fan tradition of being childish and petty I'd just like to say f*ck the Giants and come on the Pats!

Ok,more than enough wittering for one post.Back soon...

The poker lesson from the weekend was that if Dudley stops by your table and promises some run good expect the opposite! A few minutes after he had said hello my KK fell to JJ in a $27 Mtt and that was only the beginning of an almost surreal downswing that lasted all weekend.I played a load of Mtt's ranging from $5 to $55,some $7 and $30 hypers and overall lost over $900.Despite that awful run I made the money in one of the $25 hyper mtt's last night and when I got my 49k stack in the middle preflop with AKs v AJ for the world I'll admit my thoughts jumped ahead to finally making a decent cash and wiping out my losses.The Jack on the flop ended that idea!

I lost count of the number of times villains hit their crappy kicker,rivered me with the most unlikely of runner runner combinations and hit sets v my premium hands.It wasn't even just my hands that couldn't win.When three of us were all even stacked on the bubble of a $30 hyper the other two got it all in with AA v 1010.Of course they split the pot when the board came all spades and I was out shoving JJ into QQ on the next hand.

All that really matters is how I was playing and for the most part I felt I kept my head and played quite well.One mistake I did make was shoving Q6s from mid position with just under 10bb near the bubble of a $44 Mtt.I don't like just playing to cash in Mtt's but if I'd held on a for a bit longer I was pretty certain to make the money at least.

The positives are that I kept plugging away and didn't let the fear of losing stop me from loading up more tables and I certainly didn't lose any sleep either.Afterall if I'm going to step up and play $30 hypers and higher buy-in Mtt's there's no point getting upset at a pretty standard downswing.I'm hoping to have enough savings this year to pay the big bills ( council tax,Rangers season ticket and car insurance) without having to cash out any of my poker roll so I'll just have to take it on the chin,keep playing well and see where that takes me.

My cousin Two Pies and I travelled up to Perth on Saturday morning to watch Rangers beat St Johnstone 2-1 with Jelavic scoring both our goals.My mid-life crisis must be starting early as Two Pies is a qualified Ski instructor and I'm sure I heard myself agreeing to go along to the dry ski centre he where he works this Sunday for my first lesson.Watch out Eddie the Eagle....


That of course is if I'm still around for that first lesson and my sis hasn't killed me first.I was over visiting my parents as usual last Thursday and helped entertain my wee nephew by ripping up a newspaper.Simple but fun! On Sunday my sis sent me an email with a pic attached of her living room floor covered in bits of newspaper with the suggestion that Uncle Acorn may be to blame!

Two disappointments today.I went into Waterstones book shop on my lunch hour to finish reading the Devilfish book and some f*cker has bought it.Next time I'm hiding it behind Fly Fishing by JR Hartley.( one for my older UK readers)



The other letdown today is protected tweets.I liked being able to read a twitter page without signing up or having my own account and now the only twitter page I actually read is protected.Maybe I will sign up just to follow one or two folk( the Big Sam one is great) but I certainly wont be tweeting.

I can just imagine todays effort."Nearly late for work after being unable to leave until I saw Big Chris safely land that helicopter in the latest Roary the Racing Car episode".There would be no beginning to the excitement of reading my tweets.And besides apparently my Roary tweet is 141 characters and that's not allowed!

To the poker and last weekend was almost a repeat of the previous one when I played some Mtt's without cashing and made a profit playing the hyper sngs.Overall I'm only about $50 up this month but I've played 643 games and I'll hopefully break the 1k volume mark by the end of the month.

I thought I'd post this wee hand just to show that even in the push/fold 6 max hyper world of 500 chip starting stacks and 2 minute blind levels there's still occasionally room to mix it up.I don't recall my exact reasoning but I do remember (and this is always important) having a plan.Perhaps he'd been min raising a lot or the fact he should have shoved with his stack size prompted it.Anyway in this case the plan was to cold call the villains preflop min raise and check raise all in on any flop.Of course the perfect flop and the fact it was easy to represent the Ace the villain didn't have on this occasion certainly helped.



Thanks for reading.Back soon...

I was sad to see on a tv news item about falling newspaper sales that it's only an urban myth that the day after the Titanic sank the Aberdeen Press and Journal paper ran with the headline "North East Man Lost at Sea".That story always made me smile.

It's not been too bad a week considering it was my first full week back at work after the Xmas holidays.I caught up with Step A on Wednesday night and last night I was over seeing my folks and wee nephew before getting a call asking if I'd like to see a man about a dog.( score some weed)

As usual it wasn't straightforward and after driving to one dodgy housing estate my mate/dealer went in for a cup of tea and I had to drive some stranger to an even dodgier area to collect the goods.At least he was a better class of stranger than the one I met the last time I scored.We went to pick up this loser who was supposed to be waiting for us and had to go and kill time for an hour because he wouldn't come with us until a football game on tv finished.

This salt of the earth guy then spent the car journey to yet another dodgy place telling tales of how he had ripped off this guy and that guy and even the charming story of him heading home drunk one night and deciding to break a jewellers window to steal some watches.He was half cut too and as he staggered off with my money I did wonder if I'd ever see him again.Thankfully he did return and all was good.For anyone wondering,my dealer said he has known this excuse for a human being for over 20 years and that made me feel it would probably be ok.

I'm sure I've told this tale on my blog before but I've searched and can't find it so apologies if I'm repeating myself.When my friends and I were in our late teens I used to drive us to the obligitory dodgy housing estate to score small bits of weed.As I drove us there I sat in the car whenever we arrived and let my friends visit the dealer "Jimmy Snipe" to get the goods.One day I decided I wanted to go in with them in case I wanted to go up myself one day and without giving much thought to Jimmy's nickname I warmly shook the dealers hand and said "Ah you must be Jimmy Snipe,nice to meet you".

It was probably only the fact that we were such good customers that saved me from getting a kicking as Mr Snipe's nickname was only used behind his back because he used to snipe ( cut) bits off the weed he was selling and nobody ever got the weight they paid for.

Ok,after another week of non smoking it's time to take Nacho out before coming back to spark up and hit the tables....